Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Heebee Jeebeez

While I was down and out with the Heebee Jeebeez this past Monday, The Hubbs had to come home from work that morning and spend his day entertaining the kids and keeping them away from me. I was hibernating upstairs in the bed running a fever and experiencing things I wish my body wasn't able to experience.

We had had a nice little snow fall over the weekend and the kids hadn't had a chance to get out in it so The Hubbs took them outside and made their first snowman. Yes, I said "first". We are terrible parents I know but at least now they have made one
As you can see from the background our snowfall was pretty meager but it was enough wet snow to make a decent snowman. They were so proud of their creation too. I'm thankful that The Hubbs takes the time to do fun stuff with them. I'm so overwhelmed with school and the house, field trips, percussion lessons, art lessons, etc. (not to mention blogging) that I just don't do "fun" stuff with them. I need to be better.

On with the story. After the kids were in the house and eating warm soup and enjoying some Bugs Bunny cartoons (thanks to Amazon for fulfilling one of The Hubbs dreams of having Merry Melodies so the kids could see and enjoy what he watched growing up) the neighborhood kids started to get home from school. For some unknown reason, these kids thought to ride their bikes into our yard in order to run over the snowman my kids had built - totally destroying it. Well, The Hubbs did a fine job containing himself as he walked outside and stopped the destruction. We just used it as a teaching opportunity of something we teach our children daily.

One of the kids - the one who did most, if not all, of the damage to the snowman is a kid my son has grown up with. My son only uses the word "love" for two other kids besides his sister, and this neighbor boy is one of them. He is such an ugly-spirited child and it pains my heart to no end because kids are a product of their upbringing and I've witnessed quite a bit of his upbringing - more than I cared to. Since my son loves this child so much, he believes this kid feels the same way about him and wonders why his friend destroyed his beautiful snowman. We didn't say anything but he saw that the snowman was all squished in the yard so we told him what happened.

I happened to be up and about for a few moments munching on saltines and sipping some ginger ale and I told him that that was the reason we don't think of ourselves first. I'm always teaching my kids that others come before us - always. This is what God's Word teaches. Jesus always humbled himself and put others before Himself even until death. He is our perfect pattern.

These kids only thought of how much fun it would be to destroy the snowman, not about how another would feel about it. At least I hope that was what they were thinking and not just being plain ugly. This is why we always think of others before we say or do anything. We think about how our actions will affect another - no matter what they do or not do to us. We live in a feel good society but it's all about how WE feel - me, me, me. Do I react in a certain manner because I just have to? Or do I contain myself and practice "self-control"

I know these are just kids and kids will be kids - even MY perfect kids (you're supposed to laugh here). Kids ARE kids and must be supervised - these kids were 6, 4, (brothers) and a 10 year old. I'm sorry my six and four year old would not be roaming the neighborhood on their bikes without supervision. Times are not like they used to be.

The lesson in all of this? If we love, we will put others before ourselves. Many people say this, but do we actaully DO it AND teach our children by this example? It starts with us.

2 Peter 1:5-9 ". . . giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." NKJV

Mourning the loss of the dearly departed. Rest in peace ol' buddy.


~Jennifer said...

Very sad. For more than one reason.

We also teach our children to put others first, and that makes those types of incidents hurt them even more because they can't understand what could motivate other kids to be so cruel. I've tried to impress upon them that the actions of others says absolutely nothing about them (my children) and really expresses something that is missing or terribly wrong with the person behaving badly. Having that perspective helps them to forgive and feel compassion rather than bitterness.

EmmaSometimes said...

good words, anne

I too get fed up with the ideals of 'what feels right'. Very different from the Word.

Meow said...

Perfect words, Anne. It's sad that not all parents teach their children the same ideals and morals. The world would be a much better place if they did. Your children will grow up to be wonderful, caring people ... you are doing an amazing job.

Poor snowman, may he rest in "pieces" LOL (Sorry, had to say it !!)

Take care, Meow :-)

Badoozie said...

OH HECK. i would have been hiding behind the snowman with a shovel and bashed their heads. yeah. thats how i do things. i teach my son to bash peoples heads in. good sound parenting advice. now, back to reality. good teaching moment.

Anne said...

Jennifer - I too teach my children there are other reasons for the behavior of others. Luckily my kids are pretty resilient.

JennyBee - Feelings can be so deceptive. They change at a moments notice.

Meow - Thanks dear for your kind words. I wish I had a pic of the demolished carcus but I was too busy being ill.

SuzaLuka (told you I would change your name) - What are you going to school for? Social somethingorother? :) You are such a badoozie!

Anne said...

I think that's spelled carCASS. I know what you're thinking - "and she homeschools?"

Bar Bar A said...

Your bringing up your kids in the way they shall go :)

How had though...what a cute snowman.

Foo said...

Man, Anne... it sure is good to hear that there are parents out there who are still fighting the good fight. I'm convinced that one of the major reasons there's so much violence in our society (notwithstanding my fantasies of firing anti-tank weapons at some of those Hummers that share my commute) is that not enough of use have been taught to put ourselves in another's shoes.

"What if that were you? How would you feel?"

"[expletive deleted] dat! I'd bust a cap in the chump's [expletive deleted]!"


I never understood when my grandfather would watch the evening news and periodically voice his frustration with an "I don't know what the world's coming to."

I think I understand now, 'cause I don't know what the world's coming to.

Badoozie said...

i'm planning on studying "emotional intelligence" at some point in my journey, which includes things like empathy.
while i realize that this is something that is not present at a young age "generally" there are some kids who just have it. and so i'm going to look at it and see if it is something that is inherent, or something that can be taught. or something that if you don't have it, you might never will. take for example a nacissistic personality disorder, or an anti social personality disorder. these people have been studied because they usually end up killing someone (ted bundy) because they have zero empathy. they are complete empathic failures. there is no conscious. i think having a conscious is something we are born with, put in us by God. how does it get erased, or maybe there are people who don't get one. llke that one guy in the bible, who was he anne, remind me. he was born specifically to be raised up and lead an army against Gods chosen people. was it ishmeals son? God told her when she was pregnant with him, that he would grow up and be a donkeys rear basically. i love psychology. mainly because there's a huge chunck thats missing from teaching, because they refuse to acknowledge a "creator".

Anne said...

Barbara - I'm trying. It's hard for me because I used to be "of the world". It's a battle to be a good example 24/7 - a battle that I lose quite often.

FooLoo - Thanks. Talk about violence, Merry Melodies is full of it. I TRY to see others as I would if they were my son or daughter. If someone cuts me off on the highway, my first reaction is to get "road rage" mostly because I usually have my kids in the car and instinctively want to protect them. But then I think, someone loves that person like I love my kids and I'm SUPPOSE to love them as well. It's not an easy task.

What's the world coming to? A swift, sure, and severe end my friend.

SuzaLuka - You're too deep for me chickie. I know children don't typically have empathy but how do they gain it if it's not taught? I truly have deep concerns about this boy next door. In the almost five years we've been here he rarely smiles or has any type of boyish glow like you would expect. It's too long and drawn out to go into detail but I can just tell you this, when he's around, I'M around.

My Old Testament knowledge is pretty weak so I will have to defer that question to The Hubbs. About all I've retained so far from the Old Testament is God's people would disobey, they got punished, they turned back. God's people would disobey, they got punished, they turned back. Mankind hasn’t changed still today. Last but not least, the OT leads us to Christ. As far as names and all the detail - I didn't grow up being taught from scripture so I'm trying to catch up. I learn a lot from doing Bible lessons with the kids.

I find it ironic how anyone can discount Our Creator but still say they have moral values. Where do they believe the values came from? Mankind surely isn't capable of coming up with something so good.

Badoozie said...

well, i bet you there is some type of abuse or neglect going on in that house. it is not normal for a child to be down like that. keep a close eye on it. see if you can spot any bruises and the like.